For those of you who are familiar with my other blog, you will know in April 2012 I used my blog to confess to having the eating disorder, Neo-food phobia. I explained what this disorder was and how it presents itself. Then in later blogs I talked about how it affected my everyday life.
I am now at the point when I am attempting to get my GP to help me fight back (again!) after being told by a locum GP that treatment for this condition has moved on since I was diagnosed 7 years ago and that there should be something to help me. I thought it would be useful to start a blog devoted to my current attempt to hopefully successfully overcome this disorder while also recording the reality of living as a Neo-Food Phobic. I will share as much as I feel able to, about any treatment my GP arranges and any attempts at trying new foods. I hope this will encourage me to stay strong and stick with this instead of getting frustrated and giving up as I have done in the past. I also hope that if any other Neo-Food Phobics read this blog they will know they are not alone and that perhaps there is hope in new treatments.
Here is my original blog about Neo-Food Phobia:
"I have shared some of my
opinions, my love of books and craft and history, my uni work and my life with
my friends. But one thing I have kept purposefully secret. I have kept it
secret because its embarrassing and difficult to understand if you don't have
it or are close to someone who has it. However I have decided to talk about in
the hope of spreading awareness and understanding. The secret is I have an
eating disorder. However unlike the infamous three of Anorexia, Bulimia and
Over Eating, my eating disorder is not so well known
and definitely not met with understanding and sympathy when revealed
in the same way the infamous three are. I have something called Neo-Food phobia.
In simple terms this means I have a fear of trying and eating new foods.
Usually this disorder gets brushed off as "fussy eating" or the
"picky eating" syndrome. A lot of people even laugh it off,
denying it is a real thing! Well as someone who has suffered with this for 30 years, I can honestly tell you its a very real thing!!
Usually this disorder sets in between the ages of 2 and 5 when a child is going
through crucial development stages including their relationship with food.
Something happens that interrupts this process and the natural development is
halted or even stopped. This is particularly noticeable when you find yourself
as an adult saying you won't eat something because it has bits in, or has a
sauce on it or it or has green vegetables with it! Psychologically speaking
the child suffers a traumatic or stressful experience where they react by
exerting control over the only thing they can, which is what they eat.
Alternatively they associate a negative experience with a particular type of
food. Luckily Neo-Food phobia is becoming more and more understood so children
with this disorder are being identified at a younger age
and receiving the help they need to correct this disorder and not
carry it into adult life. The problem is this change is only just happening now.
When I was a child and for hundreds of other Neo-Food phobics this condition was
not understood when they were children and they are now walking around as
adults still with it. To add to this, Neo- Food phobia is only just being
recognised as a condition found in children. To get this diagnosis as an adult
takes forever. It also means there isn't really any treatment for adults with
this disorder.
For me I was about 3 years old when my eating problems started. They continued
on until I was about 7 years old. By then the damage was done and my range of
foods has not really changed or developed since then. With no understanding of
this condition I was labelled a fussy eater and that was that. I was finally
diagnosed as a Neo-Food phobic when I was 24, only 6 years ago. The reality of
this disorder affects every aspect of my life. It is not simply being a bit
fussy or particular about what you eat. When people find out it is usually by
me saying I don't like something for the 100th time and question why I can't
just try something or how do I know I don't like something if I haven't tried
it. If only they could understand!
Being a Neo-Food phobic means that trying new food is almost impossible. Even
the thought of trying something new can trigger a serious panic attack. For me
there are various stages of trying a new food. To actually put something in my
mouth, chew it and swallow it is an amazing achievement. That's without any
discussion of flavour or whether I like it! The panic usually sets in as soon
as trying something raises its head. You start to breathe quickly, your heart
beats faster, you get very hot and sweaty, you start to feel sick and start to
shake. This is before you have even put something on the plate. In order to try
the food all these elements have to be overcome. You lift the food to your
mouth, but you cannot get your brain to open your mouth. Its clamped shut. You
may consciously be thinking you want to try the food but sub-consciously your
brain is having none of it. It reacts by releasing large amounts of adrenaline
into your blood stream, it's natural reaction to fear, the fight or flight
response. However despite your fear your not going to run away as its only a
piece of fruit or a spoonful on pasta for God's sake! This means the adrenaline
doesn't get used. The adrenaline makes your heart beat faster, your breathing
quicker and as its not being used up, makes you feel queasy too. If by some
miracle you get the food in your mouth now you have to close your mouth and
chew. At this point the panic attack really gets going and your throat starts
to tighten and the saliva that you desperately need to help
chew seems to disappear. Then the retching starts. Sometimes you can hold
it back but most of the time this leads to vomiting and game
over. If you do fight it and manage to chew, cope with the new textures and
flavours and then swallow, one of two things happen. One, the piece of food
comes back up at lightening speed or, two, full panic attack, trouble
breathing, retching, crying, shaking etc. Only after this can you think about
such frivolous things such as did you like it!".
(April 2012).
