Finally getting somewhere with the new treatment offered by my GP. I have a telephone consultation with a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist next week. From the look of the information they sent me it is to go through a questionnaire to make sure I am not about to hurt myself or someone else and to see whether they will be able to help me and I suppose assign me a therapist?
They have sent me the questions in advance and to be honest they don't really apply to me. For example they ask if my condition stops me from living a normal life and socialising and lists eating food and going out for meals as an example of "normal". Well considering my condition is a problem with food, yes it does affect it but the follow up questions they ask is, is it because I have problems with interacting with people, feeling depressed etc. Thats not the reason my condition affects what I eat, its because my condition IS that I have a problem with food!!! Grrr!
I know they are only standard questions and they need some way of assessing new cases, but why couldn't they just have a face to face appointment and talk to me! That way they would find out about my "condition". Also some of the questions do affect me but not because of my eating. For example one of the questions is do you have problems sleeping or sleep at different times of the day? Well yes, but that is not because of my condition. Its to do with other issues such as stress with work, bad habits and being an owl instead of a lark. Silly questions!
I just hope these silly questions don't prevent me from getting help. I really want to see if CBT can help me break my problems with food.
Monday, 20 January 2014
Friday, 17 January 2014
Beetroot and a Roast Beef Sandwich
Yesterday I successfully tried two new foods or combination of foods; beetroot and a beef sandwich. I should point out that I don't mean together!
At lunch time Dad decided he was going to use some of the Roast Beef from the previous nights dinner to make a sandwich. He asked me what I wanted expecting something like "cheese sandwich please". Instead I surprised him (and to be honest, myself) by saying I will have a beef sandwich too, as long as I can check the meat first.
Unlike a lot of people with SED / Neo Food Phobia I do eat some meat. A lot of people with this condition find the texture of meat too difficult to deal with and also have problems with gristle and fat etc. I am lucky that I don't have a problem with the texture of meat, however I do have a major issue with gristle and fat. If I get even a small piece of fat or gristle in my mouth I will feel very sick and turn myself off of my food. I would not be able to continue eating either. For this reason I have to dissect all my meat as Dad puts it. For example, I can eat a slice of ham, but only if I can cut off all the rind and fat first. I enjoy rump, sirloin or ribeye steak, as long as I can cut out fat, gristle, veining bits of fat which chef's call "marbling" and basically everything that isn't pure meat. It creates a lot of waste (and expense when steak, so don't have it that often) but at least it gives me a hit of red meat. The problem is because of this need to dissect the meat I cannot have meat in a sandwich for fear of getting fat and gristle in my mouth. Even bacon sandwiches I have to dissect the bacon first. This means I also cannot order meat filled sandwiches when out as I know they won't be to my standard. For this reason I have never had a beef sandwich even though I really like roast beef.
But yesterday I decided to give it a try. I did go through each slice of meat and cut out the odd bit of fat first but luckily the beef was very lean. To my surprise at first I liked the sandwich. It was a bit like a cold hamburger with butter! I didn't have the usual panic attack, shaking or feeling sick when trying food. I did not struggle to put it in my mouth or shut it or chew and swallow it. However after the first sandwich I started to feel sick. This was made worse by some of the meat not breaking apart when I bit into the sandwich causing a larger lump of meat to come out and just a bit eww! I decided to quit while I was ahead and leave the rest of the sandwich. But I was still impressed with what I achieved and so was my Dad.
In the evening Dad was having salad with his beef (using up the joint of meat!) and had some beetroot in his salad cut into small cubes. He knew beetroot was one of the foods that I am curious about. He asked me if I wanted to try some. At first I felt reluctant but then said, ok then. He passed over the fork with a small cube of beetroot on, about 1cm cubed. I took a deep breath, grabbed the fork, put the beetroot in my mouth and shut my mouth. At this point I noticed panic levels starting to rise. I took another breath and started to chew. Instantly I was surprised by the taste. I did not expect it to be as sweet. There was also a vinegar taste. But behind all this was a different taste or smell. It seemed to go up my nose from inside my mouth. I got this sudden smell of vegetables which is one smell which makes me gag. I could feel the gagging approaching so tried to swallow the chewed beetroot. It wasn't instant but I managed to do it. I was not very keen to have another piece, but I was proud of my achievement. Another food tasted. Dad was impressed and commented that my ability to try foods seems to be getting better. I don't know why. I am not doing anything differently.
I read online that you have to try a new food something like 12 times before you can accurately decided whether you like it or not. Its got something to do with educating your brain and getting your taste buds use to the taste or something. I am not sure if this is true or just rubbish on the web. However I do plan to try beetroot again.
At lunch time Dad decided he was going to use some of the Roast Beef from the previous nights dinner to make a sandwich. He asked me what I wanted expecting something like "cheese sandwich please". Instead I surprised him (and to be honest, myself) by saying I will have a beef sandwich too, as long as I can check the meat first.
Unlike a lot of people with SED / Neo Food Phobia I do eat some meat. A lot of people with this condition find the texture of meat too difficult to deal with and also have problems with gristle and fat etc. I am lucky that I don't have a problem with the texture of meat, however I do have a major issue with gristle and fat. If I get even a small piece of fat or gristle in my mouth I will feel very sick and turn myself off of my food. I would not be able to continue eating either. For this reason I have to dissect all my meat as Dad puts it. For example, I can eat a slice of ham, but only if I can cut off all the rind and fat first. I enjoy rump, sirloin or ribeye steak, as long as I can cut out fat, gristle, veining bits of fat which chef's call "marbling" and basically everything that isn't pure meat. It creates a lot of waste (and expense when steak, so don't have it that often) but at least it gives me a hit of red meat. The problem is because of this need to dissect the meat I cannot have meat in a sandwich for fear of getting fat and gristle in my mouth. Even bacon sandwiches I have to dissect the bacon first. This means I also cannot order meat filled sandwiches when out as I know they won't be to my standard. For this reason I have never had a beef sandwich even though I really like roast beef.
But yesterday I decided to give it a try. I did go through each slice of meat and cut out the odd bit of fat first but luckily the beef was very lean. To my surprise at first I liked the sandwich. It was a bit like a cold hamburger with butter! I didn't have the usual panic attack, shaking or feeling sick when trying food. I did not struggle to put it in my mouth or shut it or chew and swallow it. However after the first sandwich I started to feel sick. This was made worse by some of the meat not breaking apart when I bit into the sandwich causing a larger lump of meat to come out and just a bit eww! I decided to quit while I was ahead and leave the rest of the sandwich. But I was still impressed with what I achieved and so was my Dad.
In the evening Dad was having salad with his beef (using up the joint of meat!) and had some beetroot in his salad cut into small cubes. He knew beetroot was one of the foods that I am curious about. He asked me if I wanted to try some. At first I felt reluctant but then said, ok then. He passed over the fork with a small cube of beetroot on, about 1cm cubed. I took a deep breath, grabbed the fork, put the beetroot in my mouth and shut my mouth. At this point I noticed panic levels starting to rise. I took another breath and started to chew. Instantly I was surprised by the taste. I did not expect it to be as sweet. There was also a vinegar taste. But behind all this was a different taste or smell. It seemed to go up my nose from inside my mouth. I got this sudden smell of vegetables which is one smell which makes me gag. I could feel the gagging approaching so tried to swallow the chewed beetroot. It wasn't instant but I managed to do it. I was not very keen to have another piece, but I was proud of my achievement. Another food tasted. Dad was impressed and commented that my ability to try foods seems to be getting better. I don't know why. I am not doing anything differently.
I read online that you have to try a new food something like 12 times before you can accurately decided whether you like it or not. Its got something to do with educating your brain and getting your taste buds use to the taste or something. I am not sure if this is true or just rubbish on the web. However I do plan to try beetroot again.
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