I recently saw a post on a SED forum from a woman who worked with youngsters at a community centre. She had recently found out one of the kids (13 year old girl) had been diagnosed with SED. She was on the forum trying to find out more information and to try and understand what SED is. Especially difficult for someone who admitted they would eat and try anything. I was very impressed she was going to such lengths and genuinely seemed to want to try to help the young girl overcome her issues.Her biggest concern was that the girl seemed to be a bit of a loaner and preferred to sit and draw instead of joining in with group activities.The main activity seems to have been cooking and baking which understandably the girl with SED would not want to be involved with. So the woman was asking for help on how to get the young girl more involved, and maybe even get her cooking.
After leaving my own thoughts on the matter (basically move away from the cooking and find other group activities to do that don't involve food, perhaps arts and crafts and get the young girl to join in with that without the pressure of food), it got me thinking about how hard socialising is when you have SED. Like a lot of sufferers I have had SED since I was a child, and it did cause a lot of problems, especially making and maintaining friendships. It still does! Unless you have an issue with food, you don't realise just how much food is involved with nearly every social activity. During childhood sleepovers were a nightmare with what to have for dinner and breakfast ( let's order in pizza - eww!), watching a film is awkward (I got popcorn, salted and buttered - or whatever flavours they come in- as everyone likes popcorn! Er, no!), girly nights less enjoyable (I have nachos! Or I have Doritos and dips because everyone loves them, right! Nope!), and even children's parties were boring as I had to eat before I went as it was unlikely I would like anything there! Kids can also be cruel and pick up on any weakness, so being the fussy eater or freaky eater was not helpful when making friends. You were also the child, parents hoped their children would never ask could stay for dinner unexpectedly!
As I got older it remained a problem. At uni I could never join in the money saving joint meals as it nearly always involved some kind of pasta thing, or baked thing or other "foreign" food. I am also so particular about how something is prepared that even if the menu was something I would eat it was still very stressful for me. Likewise, "lets get a takeaway" often excluded me unless it was from the chippy or McDonalds. Chinese, Thai, curry, pizza, kebab etc were all out for me. Birthday and other celebrations with a meal out were another nightmare, as most restaurants I couldn't eat in. Sometimes friends would choose to have their birthday meal at a restaurant where they knew I could eat. On one hand this was lovely and thoughtful and clearly showed they thought a lot of me and wanted me at their birthday/celebration. However it also made me feel terrible as somebody else's birthday ended up being about me, and not them, which is totally wrong. Their favourite food could have been Chinese but they would choose a Harvester for my sake. I felt so terribly guilty. Plus it was very hurtful when they suddenly stopped inviting me, although I understood it, it was still upsetting.
Even now its hard. For parties, I have to eat before I go just in case there is nothing there. If I am lucky there will be some bread rolls and a cheese board so I can make myself a sandwich, or if not hopefully crisps, although there have been many parties where there was nothing I could eat or the food was contaminated by tomatoes or onions etc, and I ended up flipping starving my the time I got home! Meals out, if I know the restaurant and I can eat there I go, if not I make an excuse. Dinner parties often I will make an excuse and arrive after dinner. Depending on who is there and whether the host knows about my SED I might get through it with a separate meal made for me, although if there will also be people I don't know, I find this very embarrassing. Also friends do get very fed up with having to cook for a group of people and then cook something separate for me. Especially as they have to be so particular about ingredients and preparation. And I understand, its a complete pain in the backside! Its not like providing a vegetarian option for a veggie, its so much more specific. However, as much as I understand, it is hurtful when the dinner invitations suddenly disappear. But who could blame them?
Going to cinema and finding munchies I will eat, popping out for coffee and cake, lets meet up for lunch, private view at the museum with buffet and drinks, fundraising evening with a meal, awards ceremony with a set dinner, why don't you stay for dinner, etc etc. Don't even get me started on going on a date! There are so many problematic occasions!! I have to plan my day around my food which even my friends don't understand. Its because it is so hard finding something I will eat when I am out and about. If its a friend who knows about my SED I will ask outright if they have something I can have for lunch or whether I should eat before I arrive. It is odd, but I hope they understand its because food is such a difficult subject for me. Even when people know I have SED I can find it awkward eating around them, particularly if they have tried so hard to fit in with all my issues and I still can't eat it. Sometimes my brain just won't allow it, and that is very hard to explain to people.
Most of all its hard because the last thing you want to do it draw attention to it, and yet so often you become the friend with the eating problems. It dictates what you can and can't do, and sadly what you do and do not get invited too. Friends get fed up with making allowances for you, or they suddenly seem to forget you have eating problems and expect you to eat a salad or something. Or worse of all they start commenting on what you eat, and how unhealthy it is and start making suggestions on what you should be eating. Yeah, thanks that helps! My SED does not make me, me. There is so much more to me, yet I can totally understand why that 13 year old girl kept herself to herself. Its easier than coming up with an excuse for why you are not eating or having to explain what SED is. How do you explain a fear of food? How can you explain that to someone and not expect to see them smirk and look at you with an incredulous look on their face? "Really, your scared of food? Oh no, here comes some broccoli, run"! Or some other unfunny joke.
The silly thing is that actually when a SED sufferer feels more confident and accepting of their situation the more likely they are to try new foods and seek out professional help with their condition. Being happy and positive can have a significant impact on the success rate of trying new foods, and maintaining a good diet. I know from personal experience that when I am unhappy or stressed my eating goes out the window. I lose my limited appetite completely and live on sandwiches and snacks. So really if the community centre woman does really want to help the young girl, the best thing she can do is to help her accept herself and become more confident and to encourage her peers to accept peoples differences as we are not all the same, and with a bit of luck the girl will become more confident and hopefully will start to expand her safe foods. At the very least she might try her hand at a bit of baking!
Saturday, 22 February 2014
Monday, 20 January 2014
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or CBT
Finally getting somewhere with the new treatment offered by my GP. I have a telephone consultation with a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist next week. From the look of the information they sent me it is to go through a questionnaire to make sure I am not about to hurt myself or someone else and to see whether they will be able to help me and I suppose assign me a therapist?
They have sent me the questions in advance and to be honest they don't really apply to me. For example they ask if my condition stops me from living a normal life and socialising and lists eating food and going out for meals as an example of "normal". Well considering my condition is a problem with food, yes it does affect it but the follow up questions they ask is, is it because I have problems with interacting with people, feeling depressed etc. Thats not the reason my condition affects what I eat, its because my condition IS that I have a problem with food!!! Grrr!
I know they are only standard questions and they need some way of assessing new cases, but why couldn't they just have a face to face appointment and talk to me! That way they would find out about my "condition". Also some of the questions do affect me but not because of my eating. For example one of the questions is do you have problems sleeping or sleep at different times of the day? Well yes, but that is not because of my condition. Its to do with other issues such as stress with work, bad habits and being an owl instead of a lark. Silly questions!
I just hope these silly questions don't prevent me from getting help. I really want to see if CBT can help me break my problems with food.
They have sent me the questions in advance and to be honest they don't really apply to me. For example they ask if my condition stops me from living a normal life and socialising and lists eating food and going out for meals as an example of "normal". Well considering my condition is a problem with food, yes it does affect it but the follow up questions they ask is, is it because I have problems with interacting with people, feeling depressed etc. Thats not the reason my condition affects what I eat, its because my condition IS that I have a problem with food!!! Grrr!
I know they are only standard questions and they need some way of assessing new cases, but why couldn't they just have a face to face appointment and talk to me! That way they would find out about my "condition". Also some of the questions do affect me but not because of my eating. For example one of the questions is do you have problems sleeping or sleep at different times of the day? Well yes, but that is not because of my condition. Its to do with other issues such as stress with work, bad habits and being an owl instead of a lark. Silly questions!
I just hope these silly questions don't prevent me from getting help. I really want to see if CBT can help me break my problems with food.
Friday, 17 January 2014
Beetroot and a Roast Beef Sandwich
Yesterday I successfully tried two new foods or combination of foods; beetroot and a beef sandwich. I should point out that I don't mean together!
At lunch time Dad decided he was going to use some of the Roast Beef from the previous nights dinner to make a sandwich. He asked me what I wanted expecting something like "cheese sandwich please". Instead I surprised him (and to be honest, myself) by saying I will have a beef sandwich too, as long as I can check the meat first.
Unlike a lot of people with SED / Neo Food Phobia I do eat some meat. A lot of people with this condition find the texture of meat too difficult to deal with and also have problems with gristle and fat etc. I am lucky that I don't have a problem with the texture of meat, however I do have a major issue with gristle and fat. If I get even a small piece of fat or gristle in my mouth I will feel very sick and turn myself off of my food. I would not be able to continue eating either. For this reason I have to dissect all my meat as Dad puts it. For example, I can eat a slice of ham, but only if I can cut off all the rind and fat first. I enjoy rump, sirloin or ribeye steak, as long as I can cut out fat, gristle, veining bits of fat which chef's call "marbling" and basically everything that isn't pure meat. It creates a lot of waste (and expense when steak, so don't have it that often) but at least it gives me a hit of red meat. The problem is because of this need to dissect the meat I cannot have meat in a sandwich for fear of getting fat and gristle in my mouth. Even bacon sandwiches I have to dissect the bacon first. This means I also cannot order meat filled sandwiches when out as I know they won't be to my standard. For this reason I have never had a beef sandwich even though I really like roast beef.
But yesterday I decided to give it a try. I did go through each slice of meat and cut out the odd bit of fat first but luckily the beef was very lean. To my surprise at first I liked the sandwich. It was a bit like a cold hamburger with butter! I didn't have the usual panic attack, shaking or feeling sick when trying food. I did not struggle to put it in my mouth or shut it or chew and swallow it. However after the first sandwich I started to feel sick. This was made worse by some of the meat not breaking apart when I bit into the sandwich causing a larger lump of meat to come out and just a bit eww! I decided to quit while I was ahead and leave the rest of the sandwich. But I was still impressed with what I achieved and so was my Dad.
In the evening Dad was having salad with his beef (using up the joint of meat!) and had some beetroot in his salad cut into small cubes. He knew beetroot was one of the foods that I am curious about. He asked me if I wanted to try some. At first I felt reluctant but then said, ok then. He passed over the fork with a small cube of beetroot on, about 1cm cubed. I took a deep breath, grabbed the fork, put the beetroot in my mouth and shut my mouth. At this point I noticed panic levels starting to rise. I took another breath and started to chew. Instantly I was surprised by the taste. I did not expect it to be as sweet. There was also a vinegar taste. But behind all this was a different taste or smell. It seemed to go up my nose from inside my mouth. I got this sudden smell of vegetables which is one smell which makes me gag. I could feel the gagging approaching so tried to swallow the chewed beetroot. It wasn't instant but I managed to do it. I was not very keen to have another piece, but I was proud of my achievement. Another food tasted. Dad was impressed and commented that my ability to try foods seems to be getting better. I don't know why. I am not doing anything differently.
I read online that you have to try a new food something like 12 times before you can accurately decided whether you like it or not. Its got something to do with educating your brain and getting your taste buds use to the taste or something. I am not sure if this is true or just rubbish on the web. However I do plan to try beetroot again.
At lunch time Dad decided he was going to use some of the Roast Beef from the previous nights dinner to make a sandwich. He asked me what I wanted expecting something like "cheese sandwich please". Instead I surprised him (and to be honest, myself) by saying I will have a beef sandwich too, as long as I can check the meat first.
Unlike a lot of people with SED / Neo Food Phobia I do eat some meat. A lot of people with this condition find the texture of meat too difficult to deal with and also have problems with gristle and fat etc. I am lucky that I don't have a problem with the texture of meat, however I do have a major issue with gristle and fat. If I get even a small piece of fat or gristle in my mouth I will feel very sick and turn myself off of my food. I would not be able to continue eating either. For this reason I have to dissect all my meat as Dad puts it. For example, I can eat a slice of ham, but only if I can cut off all the rind and fat first. I enjoy rump, sirloin or ribeye steak, as long as I can cut out fat, gristle, veining bits of fat which chef's call "marbling" and basically everything that isn't pure meat. It creates a lot of waste (and expense when steak, so don't have it that often) but at least it gives me a hit of red meat. The problem is because of this need to dissect the meat I cannot have meat in a sandwich for fear of getting fat and gristle in my mouth. Even bacon sandwiches I have to dissect the bacon first. This means I also cannot order meat filled sandwiches when out as I know they won't be to my standard. For this reason I have never had a beef sandwich even though I really like roast beef.
But yesterday I decided to give it a try. I did go through each slice of meat and cut out the odd bit of fat first but luckily the beef was very lean. To my surprise at first I liked the sandwich. It was a bit like a cold hamburger with butter! I didn't have the usual panic attack, shaking or feeling sick when trying food. I did not struggle to put it in my mouth or shut it or chew and swallow it. However after the first sandwich I started to feel sick. This was made worse by some of the meat not breaking apart when I bit into the sandwich causing a larger lump of meat to come out and just a bit eww! I decided to quit while I was ahead and leave the rest of the sandwich. But I was still impressed with what I achieved and so was my Dad.
In the evening Dad was having salad with his beef (using up the joint of meat!) and had some beetroot in his salad cut into small cubes. He knew beetroot was one of the foods that I am curious about. He asked me if I wanted to try some. At first I felt reluctant but then said, ok then. He passed over the fork with a small cube of beetroot on, about 1cm cubed. I took a deep breath, grabbed the fork, put the beetroot in my mouth and shut my mouth. At this point I noticed panic levels starting to rise. I took another breath and started to chew. Instantly I was surprised by the taste. I did not expect it to be as sweet. There was also a vinegar taste. But behind all this was a different taste or smell. It seemed to go up my nose from inside my mouth. I got this sudden smell of vegetables which is one smell which makes me gag. I could feel the gagging approaching so tried to swallow the chewed beetroot. It wasn't instant but I managed to do it. I was not very keen to have another piece, but I was proud of my achievement. Another food tasted. Dad was impressed and commented that my ability to try foods seems to be getting better. I don't know why. I am not doing anything differently.
I read online that you have to try a new food something like 12 times before you can accurately decided whether you like it or not. Its got something to do with educating your brain and getting your taste buds use to the taste or something. I am not sure if this is true or just rubbish on the web. However I do plan to try beetroot again.
Monday, 9 December 2013
Thinking about food.........
One of the side effects of living with this condition is that you never really have an appetite. You get hungry and you eat. But you don't look forward to eating. If I didn't have to eat, I wouldn't. I am not the sort of person who gets excited about food. Actually that's not true. Freshly cooked crusty bread with butter on and a nice chunk of chedder cheese is something I do enjoy and as far as possible I get excited about eating it. But that's about it. Sometimes I get a craving for chip shop chips, or a bar of Dairy Milk chocolate or some crinkle cut crisps (ready salted), but I don't "enjoy" food in the same way people who don't have this condition do.
But I do think about food sometimes and in recent months this has increased considerably. I think about food that I don't eat and wonder what it tastes like. There is a curiosity which hasn't been there before. Its also seems to be strange food with (apparently) very strong tastes. Many of which are foods you either love or hate. When I started eating Heinz cream of tomato soup and fried button mushrooms (not together as a meal just new foods) friends and family were amazed as these were strong flavours. My Dad also constantly reminds me if I can drink Lager (Budweiser) then I should be able to eat anything as I clearly have no taste buds! Cheek!
So what do I think about? I think about beetroot. I am fascinated by the colour and firm yet soft texture. I wonder what "Beetroot" tastes like. I also think about red peppers, radishes (I know weird right!), sweetcorn and fleshy fresh fruit like water melon or similar. I never think about green vegetables. The very thought of greens makes me feel sick and I feel a tightening of my chest.
I wonder what pasta and rice tastes like. Is pasta slimey because it looks slimey and when a piece has fallen out of the saucepan into the sink when draining it feels slimey when I pick it up to chunk in the bin (When I was an undergraduate I shared with other students so pasta was one of their stable foods!). How can rice sometimes be sticky and sometimes fluffy? What does lasagne taste like? It looks meaty and filling and tasty. Is it? How strong is the tomato sauce? Is it "spicey" or "herby"?
I think about stir-fry. Are the vegetables crunchy? What does the sauce taste like? Is it hot? Does soy sauce taste salty, sweet or sour? I think about how grown up it would feel to have stir-fry and rice for dinner. And how healthy that would be.
In the summer I think about quiche. I like cheese so would I like quiche? I think about having it for dinner on a hot summers day with boiled new potatoes and a salad with beetroot. I don't eat any of these things, but I remember my Mum use to eat this sort of thing a lot in the summer because it was cool and refreshing, sometimes swapping quiche for slices of ham or a piece of chicken. I do eat chicken and certain types of ham. I wonder if I would ever be able to eat this sort of thing. Considering raw tomatoes make me physically sick, makes my skin turn bright red and itchy and gives me an upset stomach the salad might be an issue! The smell of cucumber also makes me want to gag.
I think about Chinese food and the different little cartons that come with a take-away. When friends or family have it (while I have something from the chippie) I wonder what the strong food smells are coming from. The sauce? The meat? I wonder about the tastes. I like the idea of ordering a "Chinese" with everyone else. I think about pizza and whether I could cope with the tomato base given my allergy? I like bread and cheese, and I also like ham and mushrooms so could I eat a pizza? Would it be moreish like cheese on toast? How cool would it be to go to Pizza Hut or Pizza Express and order like everyone else or to order a take-away like "normal" people.
I wonder about yoghurt. Does it taste as bad as some of them smell? Are they very sweet? Are some of them nice? Are they watery like milk or thick like ice cream?
I think about soups with bits in like chicken and vegetable etc. I tried mushroom soup once and the smell of it cooking was putrid. I couldn't bring myself to taste it when it was cooked as I was gagging far too much. Its a horrible smell! But what about other soups? Could I eat them, even with vegetables in? I wonder about pumpkin soup. Every Halloween friends on facebook talk about getting pumpkins and then making soup out of the inside stuff which they removed before carving. What does it taste like? At the same time of year I also think about butter-nut squash and wonder what the hell it is! I have seen photos in magazines of some sort of bakes with pumpkins and butter nut squash and wonder what they are like, while fascinated by the colours. I think about aubergines and wonder what you do with them and what do they taste like? Sour? Oniony? Savoury? The deep purple colour and the shiny skin is curious. I have heard of stuffed peppers, do you stuff an aubergine?
I never wonder about greens as I have said, but I also never wonder what cakes or sweet things taste like. I have no interest in adding puddings, cakes and sugary sweets to my diet. They hold no interest. I like Walls Vanilla Ice Cream and I eat Dairy Milk chocolate and Maltesers. Nothing else sweet, unless you count my breakfast cereal - Frosties. I really don't have a sweet tooth.
But I do think about food sometimes and in recent months this has increased considerably. I think about food that I don't eat and wonder what it tastes like. There is a curiosity which hasn't been there before. Its also seems to be strange food with (apparently) very strong tastes. Many of which are foods you either love or hate. When I started eating Heinz cream of tomato soup and fried button mushrooms (not together as a meal just new foods) friends and family were amazed as these were strong flavours. My Dad also constantly reminds me if I can drink Lager (Budweiser) then I should be able to eat anything as I clearly have no taste buds! Cheek!
So what do I think about? I think about beetroot. I am fascinated by the colour and firm yet soft texture. I wonder what "Beetroot" tastes like. I also think about red peppers, radishes (I know weird right!), sweetcorn and fleshy fresh fruit like water melon or similar. I never think about green vegetables. The very thought of greens makes me feel sick and I feel a tightening of my chest.
I wonder what pasta and rice tastes like. Is pasta slimey because it looks slimey and when a piece has fallen out of the saucepan into the sink when draining it feels slimey when I pick it up to chunk in the bin (When I was an undergraduate I shared with other students so pasta was one of their stable foods!). How can rice sometimes be sticky and sometimes fluffy? What does lasagne taste like? It looks meaty and filling and tasty. Is it? How strong is the tomato sauce? Is it "spicey" or "herby"?
I think about stir-fry. Are the vegetables crunchy? What does the sauce taste like? Is it hot? Does soy sauce taste salty, sweet or sour? I think about how grown up it would feel to have stir-fry and rice for dinner. And how healthy that would be.
In the summer I think about quiche. I like cheese so would I like quiche? I think about having it for dinner on a hot summers day with boiled new potatoes and a salad with beetroot. I don't eat any of these things, but I remember my Mum use to eat this sort of thing a lot in the summer because it was cool and refreshing, sometimes swapping quiche for slices of ham or a piece of chicken. I do eat chicken and certain types of ham. I wonder if I would ever be able to eat this sort of thing. Considering raw tomatoes make me physically sick, makes my skin turn bright red and itchy and gives me an upset stomach the salad might be an issue! The smell of cucumber also makes me want to gag.
I think about Chinese food and the different little cartons that come with a take-away. When friends or family have it (while I have something from the chippie) I wonder what the strong food smells are coming from. The sauce? The meat? I wonder about the tastes. I like the idea of ordering a "Chinese" with everyone else. I think about pizza and whether I could cope with the tomato base given my allergy? I like bread and cheese, and I also like ham and mushrooms so could I eat a pizza? Would it be moreish like cheese on toast? How cool would it be to go to Pizza Hut or Pizza Express and order like everyone else or to order a take-away like "normal" people.
I wonder about yoghurt. Does it taste as bad as some of them smell? Are they very sweet? Are some of them nice? Are they watery like milk or thick like ice cream?
I think about soups with bits in like chicken and vegetable etc. I tried mushroom soup once and the smell of it cooking was putrid. I couldn't bring myself to taste it when it was cooked as I was gagging far too much. Its a horrible smell! But what about other soups? Could I eat them, even with vegetables in? I wonder about pumpkin soup. Every Halloween friends on facebook talk about getting pumpkins and then making soup out of the inside stuff which they removed before carving. What does it taste like? At the same time of year I also think about butter-nut squash and wonder what the hell it is! I have seen photos in magazines of some sort of bakes with pumpkins and butter nut squash and wonder what they are like, while fascinated by the colours. I think about aubergines and wonder what you do with them and what do they taste like? Sour? Oniony? Savoury? The deep purple colour and the shiny skin is curious. I have heard of stuffed peppers, do you stuff an aubergine?
I never wonder about greens as I have said, but I also never wonder what cakes or sweet things taste like. I have no interest in adding puddings, cakes and sugary sweets to my diet. They hold no interest. I like Walls Vanilla Ice Cream and I eat Dairy Milk chocolate and Maltesers. Nothing else sweet, unless you count my breakfast cereal - Frosties. I really don't have a sweet tooth.
Thursday, 28 November 2013
Branston Pickle - well sort of!
Branston Pickle represents a real problem area of food for me. Firstly its a bit like a sauce and I do not eat sauces. Secondly its got bits in and those bits are vegetables which is even worse. Thirdly the smell of it is very strong and it looks.... well.... it looks as though it has already been eaten once!
It is most definitely not a safe food for me. It is also one of the last things I would ever think of trying. However last week I was eating dinner with Dad and we were having cold chicken which I do like as its plain and not threatening. To liven it up for himself, Dad was having some Branston Pickle with his. I was curious as to why he liked this "sweet pickle" and asked him what it tasted like. Unhelpfully he replied "it tastes like Branston Pickle"!! He then suggested I try a bit. Hell no! He then said "don't try the bits just dip your finger in and taste the sauce". Hmmmm....... Could I do that? I was curious. But was I curious enough to do that?
Well in a moment of abnormal bravery I opened the jar and plunged my little finger in. I thought I would do my usual "very tip of my finger to only get as little as possible on my finger to try" style. Instead I stuck my finger in the jar quite a way. Without really thinking I then stuck my finger in my mouth and licked all the brown pickle off! My Dad was shocked I had done it, but not as much as I was!! I then did it twice more (with different fingers obviously!).
Now I have not suddenly converted to eating pickle nor did I try any of the bits which are part of the pickle. However the brown sauce bit was not disgusting. I didn't retch and I didn't feel sick afterwards. It was a strange taste. I didn't dislike it, but I didn't like it either.
Its not really a successful tasting in the sense that I have added a new food to my diet, as I haven't. But it is a success that I managed to try it without triggering a panic attack, I could put it in my mouth, shut my mouth and swallow it and think about the taste! I have no idea why this worked or whether I did anything differently. I can only hope I have other successful tastings which might add to my diet and of course the new treatment might help.
It is most definitely not a safe food for me. It is also one of the last things I would ever think of trying. However last week I was eating dinner with Dad and we were having cold chicken which I do like as its plain and not threatening. To liven it up for himself, Dad was having some Branston Pickle with his. I was curious as to why he liked this "sweet pickle" and asked him what it tasted like. Unhelpfully he replied "it tastes like Branston Pickle"!! He then suggested I try a bit. Hell no! He then said "don't try the bits just dip your finger in and taste the sauce". Hmmmm....... Could I do that? I was curious. But was I curious enough to do that?
Well in a moment of abnormal bravery I opened the jar and plunged my little finger in. I thought I would do my usual "very tip of my finger to only get as little as possible on my finger to try" style. Instead I stuck my finger in the jar quite a way. Without really thinking I then stuck my finger in my mouth and licked all the brown pickle off! My Dad was shocked I had done it, but not as much as I was!! I then did it twice more (with different fingers obviously!).
Now I have not suddenly converted to eating pickle nor did I try any of the bits which are part of the pickle. However the brown sauce bit was not disgusting. I didn't retch and I didn't feel sick afterwards. It was a strange taste. I didn't dislike it, but I didn't like it either.
Its not really a successful tasting in the sense that I have added a new food to my diet, as I haven't. But it is a success that I managed to try it without triggering a panic attack, I could put it in my mouth, shut my mouth and swallow it and think about the taste! I have no idea why this worked or whether I did anything differently. I can only hope I have other successful tastings which might add to my diet and of course the new treatment might help.
New Treatment??
I have finally had my appointment with my GP. From the way it started I was convinced it wasn't going to go anywhere, particularly when the first thing he offered me for my weight issues was surgery!!! Er... no! I tried to explain that it wouldn't work as I would still be eating the wrong food. He smiled and said it would work as I physically couldn't eat a lot! Grrrr! New GP! Had to explain that my weight gain was not due to eating large amounts of food and in actual fact would prefer not to eat at all as I do not find food appealing. I have weight issues because the foods I can eat are so unhealthy and after 31 years I have baggage!
I eventually got him to look back through my records where he found the Neo Food Phobia diagnosis and the counselling I was sent for. As far as my records were concerned I had been cured!! That made me wonder exactly what my old GP had been doing for the last 6 years when he told me he was "writing letters" to various specialists!! Clearly lies!!
Anyway once I had managed to get my new GP to listen I then had the task of explaining what Neo Food Phobia is. Its not the most easiest thing to explain as to many people it sounds ludicrous. However as I was trying to explain, he suddenly said, "are you sure its not SED"?!! Hooray! I explained that I did think my condition was more SED as it was not just limited to new food. Anyway, he has agreed to refer me for treatment and believes Cognitive Behaviour Therapy would help. So he is sending me for an assessment to see if our local Cognitive Behaviour Therapists will take me on. If not he has reassured me he will keep pursuing this until he can find something to help me, so I can get fit, lose weight and start living my life more fully without the restrictions of SED!!
By the end of my appointment I felt very positive and hopeful. I have no idea if Cognitive Behaviour Therapy will work for me or not. I know some people who have had it for other things and it helped them, so I am open minded. Judging from other forums and Facebook groups however it seems as though the only affective treatment is a form of hypnotherapy. Again I am open minded but as the sessions are over £200 at the moment that is not something I can pursue. So I will give my GP a chance and see what he comes up with.
I will of course keep you updated on this new treatment, so for now, wish me luck!!
I eventually got him to look back through my records where he found the Neo Food Phobia diagnosis and the counselling I was sent for. As far as my records were concerned I had been cured!! That made me wonder exactly what my old GP had been doing for the last 6 years when he told me he was "writing letters" to various specialists!! Clearly lies!!
Anyway once I had managed to get my new GP to listen I then had the task of explaining what Neo Food Phobia is. Its not the most easiest thing to explain as to many people it sounds ludicrous. However as I was trying to explain, he suddenly said, "are you sure its not SED"?!! Hooray! I explained that I did think my condition was more SED as it was not just limited to new food. Anyway, he has agreed to refer me for treatment and believes Cognitive Behaviour Therapy would help. So he is sending me for an assessment to see if our local Cognitive Behaviour Therapists will take me on. If not he has reassured me he will keep pursuing this until he can find something to help me, so I can get fit, lose weight and start living my life more fully without the restrictions of SED!!
By the end of my appointment I felt very positive and hopeful. I have no idea if Cognitive Behaviour Therapy will work for me or not. I know some people who have had it for other things and it helped them, so I am open minded. Judging from other forums and Facebook groups however it seems as though the only affective treatment is a form of hypnotherapy. Again I am open minded but as the sessions are over £200 at the moment that is not something I can pursue. So I will give my GP a chance and see what he comes up with.
I will of course keep you updated on this new treatment, so for now, wish me luck!!
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
Selective Eating Disorder?
After doing a bit of research online I came across pages and forums linked to Neo-Food Phobia concerned with Selective Eating Disorder or SED. The more I read about this condition the more I feel this is a more accurate description of my problem, particularly as some descriptions included sufferers being particular with brands and how food is prepared, as well as texture and smells. This is very me, however unless I get re-diagnosed I cannot go too far down this route, but hopefully my GP will put me on the path where I may get re-categorised as having SED (although it does appear to be the same thing with a new name!).
For now here is a description of SED taken from http://treatmentsforthemind.co.uk/selective-eating-disorder-sed
"SED is sometimes also labelled as neo-phobia (or a fear of the new), although I feel this phrase is misleading as most of the clients seen will only tend to have a phobia with certain new foods and nothing else. SED is a true phobia that just happens to be associated with foods rather than animals, objects or processes. As such, it is not mere ‘fussy eating’ which tends to just be a conservative stage during most children’s development. Fussy eaters are often merely picky or play on the preferential treatment or special attention they get, but they are not phobic! . Fussy eating therefore does not involve a phobia, so SED often gets overlooked and misdiagnosed by doctors and therapists, as they confuse one with the other. In simple terms due to an event or phase in the past, pain has been associated with certain foods and the system refuses to venture past it’s safe foods. The more this situation persists, the greater the belief that one is ‘unable’ to then eat new foods because of the lack of past historical successes. Fortunately speedy help is at hand".
For now here is a description of SED taken from http://treatmentsforthemind.co.uk/selective-eating-disorder-sed
"SED is sometimes also labelled as neo-phobia (or a fear of the new), although I feel this phrase is misleading as most of the clients seen will only tend to have a phobia with certain new foods and nothing else. SED is a true phobia that just happens to be associated with foods rather than animals, objects or processes. As such, it is not mere ‘fussy eating’ which tends to just be a conservative stage during most children’s development. Fussy eaters are often merely picky or play on the preferential treatment or special attention they get, but they are not phobic! . Fussy eating therefore does not involve a phobia, so SED often gets overlooked and misdiagnosed by doctors and therapists, as they confuse one with the other. In simple terms due to an event or phase in the past, pain has been associated with certain foods and the system refuses to venture past it’s safe foods. The more this situation persists, the greater the belief that one is ‘unable’ to then eat new foods because of the lack of past historical successes. Fortunately speedy help is at hand".
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